I am a 33 year old male, with an addiction. One which, I believe, is one of the most socially unacceptable addictions available. If decided to confess it is likely friends, family and colleges would keep their distance and, even worse, assume that I'd steal anything that is not nailed down. However I would like to point out, in the words of Bill Hicks, I've taken drugs and I've not killed or raped anyone, essentially I don't believe that I am a bad person!
The reason I started was not due to some sort of abuse as a child, or because I was dragged up by unloving parents. Neither did I suffer from bullying at school. Basically I have no excuse for my addiction as I had a good upbringing with a loving family.
I met and fell for a beautiful girl who I knew to have had issues with heroin. I believed that they were over as like with many other people I did not understand the life long hold that the drug has over you.
Basically, I ended up trying it one evening and I thought it was nice. That one night turned into taking it at weekends and then to week days and finally...
I remember one evening where I made a stand and said that it was heroin or me, it turns out that it was the drug and I had no backbone, how I wish that I had stood by my convictions!
Maybe I am kidding myself but I never felt like an addict and always wanted to be clean. I will not go to the doctors for a prescription. I have a reason, albeit pathetic, my work can request my medical records. If they did I think we could all agree it would hamper my chances of progression. Also I do not want anyone to know!
I do buy meth from my ex, however this is unreliable and at any moment could stop, this fills me with dread. Now that I am on the meth I am told that its more difficult to get off and will cause discomfort for months after. What a hole I am in.
To add to this my finances are in turmoil, I owe large amounts to payday loan companies, one month behind on my mortgage and owe small amounts to various people.
All of this has caused me to stress, and when stressed I turn to heroin. My neck is aways stiff and uncomfortable, I have mood swings and moments of confusion which all makes for an unusual yellowplay.
Has anyone got any suggestions or tips or are you willing to talk about it and ask questions, offer opinions whether good or bad!
Good day, be good and never ever take the life wrecker drug that is HEROIN! Problem is I did and now can not see a end!
Yellowplay
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